Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
