I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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