Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
