i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Panties = found
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
