just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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