see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have already put on my inside pants.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
