Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
