i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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