ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
