All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize