eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
