problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
