Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My breasts were aching with rage.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
