i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
