sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
