google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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