At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
