She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
The adults are the big ones right?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
