i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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