Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize