dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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