Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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