NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
