Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
