if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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