Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
