All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize