He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
