Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
