Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
