i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
