he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
time to smoke my breakfast
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
