yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
