im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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