So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
