im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize