Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
