I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
