Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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