nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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