I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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