yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
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