I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
