its not stalking. its research.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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