do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
