batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
