I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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