he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize