i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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