hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
