just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
