Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
