why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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