I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
A+ Viking dick
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize