Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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