I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
