He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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