Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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