do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
