dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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