i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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