Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize