Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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