Christians are straight up FREAKS
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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