the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize