even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
