happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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