my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
