just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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