This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
