Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
