ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
