your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
